The Great Midnight Mouse Adventure

i was sitting up late, surfing the web and wasting precious time on facebook when i could have been doing some of tomorrows school work or reading how the lates Raptor clone tore someone's heart out in Jurassic Park. I had let my iPod run in the other room, which was a good thing, cause in the next room i heard a small scream. Not a loud scream like someone was getting killed, but my mom doesn't scream very often and so i figured id check it out.
She'd seen a mouse.
my mom haaaates mice. like bad. so she went and got caleb, and we got the closed tore apart, caught the mouse, and took it outside. No big deal. so we're all sitting in the living room having a good laugh over it, then mom leaves to go back into her room. back to wasting time on facebook again, when she comes out and tell us she'd seen another one.
back into the room we go, but this time we don't know where to look.
we literally tore up my parents whole room before we figured the little bastard was no where to be found.
so, frustrated and annoyed, me and cabe are thinking of what to do.
he jokingly suggested that i 'turn out the lights and turn on NCIS and wait for the little bugger to come back out.'
...we'll, we had nothing better to do.
lights out.
NCIS on.
Steakout begins.

...not 20 minutes in i see a streak of brown shoot across the floor in the dim light, so i hollared for Caleb. took us a couple minutes to get him cornered; right underneath a bookshelf with half an inch clearance from the bottom shelf to the floor. after much discussing, we assembled a blockade for it, and got a long broom handle to push it gently out.
well that gently didn't work so well for my comrade.
he arm slipped, and all i heard was the thud of the the handle squishing something between itself and the wooden barrier.
and out crawls this little brown mouse; twitching and squeaking gently.
...
fifteen minutes before i would have traded my night's sleep to just have that mouse dead, but now all i saw was it twitching on the ground.
i yelled at caleb to get out of the room, and gently picked up the mouse in my hands.
it stopped twitching after a while though i could still feel its heartbeat a little. I just held it and cried. Eventually i rolled it over, and it gripped my hand with its little claws.
it was still alive.
so i scrubbed some of the tears from my eyes and wrapped him gently in a towel and took him outside, where he eventually scampered off into the woods.

:3

omg i was so happy.
It tore me up inside to think that that little critter was dying in my hands. to think that his life was leaving him while i held him there just ripped me up.
its different then like a spider or a snake.
iunno.

(for those of you who read my twitter, that was the 'little shit-faced' rodent i was talking about)

Water

So. Water.

It is good yes? i mean, most life would die if we didn't have water. Its a good thing. Tastes kind of like a ground up rock, but nothing his the spot after a long walk on the beach then a tall cup of ice cold water.
It can be frozen. And used to cool other water, so its also useful. Another way water is useful is that is can be harnessed and used to generate energy.
We are cooled by its soothing embrace. Its happy bubbling noise is a calming sound.
Water can be ridden in boats as recreation, or by a mean of transportation.
so yes.
Water. It is a very good thing.

But water is very often only useful when it is moving.

...Say what?

Dont...

..'Quiet waters give yield to much fruit?'

..'Still waters bring peace?'

--

Dam up the quiet streams, and your water becomes still. Leave your still water for long enough, and it will become stagnant. Leave stagnant water for long enough, and it will become a breeding ground of insects and parasites, a cest pit for vile things.

--

So.
What happens when our spiritual high calms and becomes quiet?
What happens when our sunday morning conviction has a soft layer of dust on it come monday morning?
What happens when we let our quiet faith become still?
What happens when we get comfortable with the little sins breeding in our stagnant faith?

What happens when we are willing to settle for a pool and not a stream?

A pool goes no where. Reaches nothing. In order for a pool to be useful, something else must come to it. But it goes no where.

What happens when our faith becomes still?

...

Food for thought.

Future.

I am so discouraged with school. and writing.
I have no idea what I'm going to do in regards to college.
I feel epicly hollow inside.

I read something the other day that should have knocked my guts out. It should have made me want to throw up. but it didn't.
I just stared, and waited to the pain to hit, like it always did.

but it didn't.

nothing hit.

which on the one hand, was amazing.

on the other hand, I didn't care.

at all.

And that bothered me.

I know the future shouldn't weigh me down, but it does.

I would love to know I was going to stay single forever, cause I know exactly what I'd be doing if I was.

If i was going to be single, I would up and leave. None of you have any idea how easy it would be for me to walk away from NC. I could honestly do it at the drop of a hat. Not that I don't love my family or friends, or my church, but i could turn and walk away, crawl into a hole of an apartment in SC, work my ass off, write till my fingers bleed, make rent, get book published, pursue God on my own, and be happy.

But theres the other side of me that wants to be a father some day. I want to have kids and train them up in the way they should go. I want to have a wife. I want to be a Godly husband and father, writing books for a living.

There's just a huge part of me that feels like its always gonna be me coming and going. Seriously, if i where to up and move, how many of you would keep in contact with me? know how many people keep in contact with me from CT? one. and he lives in SC now.
How long before i was a memory there?

How long would it be before I'm a memory here?

So as I hold God's hands, knuckles white and sweating cause I'm so scared, where do I go?

God's not just gonna pick me up and whizz me through life, I'm not just along for the ride, I'm here to glorify, worship, honor him with my choices.

so what do I choose?

Do i follow doing what I love, skip over the college years, and pursue what only I can do? What i can't be taught? and risk falling through, be able to support myself but not necisarily a family.

Or... do i settle for less then what I love doing for something I like doing, and hope I'm able to do what I love later on?

I dont know.

God isn't going to choose for me; though he might make it bleeding obvious.

I need to choose. Me.

Just like I'm going to need to choose where my family goes to church, and I'm gonna need to teach my kids how to ride their bike. I'm going to have to be an example of what Christ is to my sons, and my family. I'm going to have to be the spiritual leader in my household.

I hope I can be someday.

but, Dear God, your will be done.

No title. Just read it to the end.

So.
Here’s the deal.
No, strike that. No, yes. Here’s the deal. I write, you listen. Or… read. Whatever, you get the idea.
I am not an avid blogger, I’m not even an avid talker. Anymore. I don’t like to overburden people, in fact half the time I feel like I’m weighing the ones I love down, but I’ve beaten that dead horse before, and if you’d like to read about it, you may do so here.
I’m a senior in high school. I don’t get math. I hardly get anything, honestly. The only thing I know how to do is be creative. I get pissed off by mass media because it’s a bunch of scum sucking pre-packaged lotta-money-in-airs who ride on the backs of better creative minds then they are to get to the top. There are a few that have my respect, but for the most part it just sends angry shivers down my spines.

I hate seeing artists under paid.

I hate seeing a model who walks the run way in underwear and high heels get paid more in one hour then a school teacher gets paid in five years.

I hate seeing brilliant authors who have talent coming out their ears shunted to the publishing corporations too blind to see it, and instead publish shallow and unimaginative vampire novels that are comparable to any mediocre bullshit that I can find on fanfiction.net.

I hate watching high school graduates go off to a college they love, to go through four years of education they don’t have the money for, to earn a degree they may or may not use, to MAYBE get into a job that they may or may not get, so that they can TRY to pay off that bill the college sends them.

I hate watching dads walk away from their families.

I hate watching women settling for less in their men then they should.

I hate watching God, the very thing this country was founded on, die in this great country.

I hate watching people care more about the animals that ‘need to be saved’ then the people who NEED TO BE SAVED!

And I hate watching the next generation of this country get slaughtered on a medical table while Washington DC calls it ‘the woman’s choice’.

…to all you Ph.D’s sitting in congress, guess what the word ‘fetus’ means in latin?

WAKE UP AMERICA!

Tell you what, why don’t we STOP teaching kids how to put on condoms in school, and START teaching them the side effects and dangers of abortion to the mother?

The darkness never ‘comes into’ a place, the light ‘leaves’.

Fact is, too much ‘light’ has gone out of America, and too much ‘salt’ has lost its saltiness.
I’m sick of seeing the Church walk into subdivisions and beat the single mom over the head with a Bible and a tract, why don’t we instead bring her kids a board game, and ask her how her day went?
I’m sick of seeing beliefs compromised because people make THEIR will, God’s will instead of praying that God will make HIS will THEIR will.

Seriously. When did Christian’s start running when things got bad? Or maybe its always been going on this long, it was just that the television hadn’t come along yet and wasn’t as well publicized.

When did people who call themselves followers of God start getting scared of torture, prison, and martyrdom instead of counting it all joy to be persecuted for Christ?

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the thought of being boiled alive, sawed in half, thrown to the lions and set on fire to be used as a street torch as much as the next guy, and yeah, it may even make me squeamish, but when I see the lion coming at me, or I feel the saw dividing flesh and bone, I remember that its all gonna be over soon, and suddenly I realize, that either the person who’s cutting me apart will repent, and I will spend an ETERNITY praising GOD with that person, or they will NOT repent, and they will spend an eternity AWAY from God, FOREVER, and you know what?

Suddenly, I don’t think dying would look so bad.

I don’t think praying for the person killing me would be so hard.

I don’t think that I’d be able to help myself smiling.

Seriously.

People, think I’m crazy yet? Yeah, so will the person holding a gun to my head while I’ve got a big cheesy grin on my face and laugh myself stupid right before he puts a slug between my eyes.
Actually, I love it when people ask me how I want to die, because I know EXACTLY how I want to die. I want to die with the name of Jesus on my lips and a smile on my face. Death might not be quick, it might be painful, it might burn, but I want God to use me right up until I go walking away from my earthly body and run, screaming my head off right into his arms to an eternity of being with him.
No more sorrow.
No more pain.
Just me, God, and everyone else whose ever followed him, be it some guy we heard about in Sunday school or some little one who never made it past conception because of medical instruments.

Its gonna be great.


WELL, that turned into something else entirely then I meant it to be. I hope you benefit from it, whoever you are.
Cheers.

Scream

I can't erase it anymore
It follows me everywhere I go
It's like a mask that I don't want to wear anymore

I think I've found a way to let it go
But it's still too soon to know for sure
I'd give everything I am
To just feel somethin'

Can you feel that?

Scream! When the pressure breaks me
When it's too hard to see
When I feel like I'm at the end of my rope
One more time
Scream! When the fire burns me
When it's hard to break free
When I feel like I'm standin' on the edge
Of it all this time

I can't suppress it anymore
Here it comes like a flood
Just like before, when it rains, it pours
And I don't want to swim anymore

I think I've found a way to let it go
I don't know, I've never felt this way before
But with everything I am, I just let go...

You make me wanna scream...

It's not a joke
I've felt as messed up as you do
I've felt the feelings you've been feeling
Been through the same things
You've been through
And I know how hard it is
To feel like you're alone
We've all been given a second chance
But the chance is all our own

It was right in front of me...

~Thousand Foot Krutch

help meeeeeee

I don't want to do school, I want to write. But I don't want to write, cause I need to do school work, so I can get into college. But I don't want to go to college, I want to write. but I cant write, I need to do school work, so that I can get into college.

wtf

blog of newyearness.

Sup.
I don’t know how long this blog will be, but wanted to let you in on a few things. One, this is my first blog post of the year, so, go me. Also, I have a burd sitting a few inches from my ear, and that always makes me happy.
Saw Avatar with Uncle Dana. That was awesome. I picked up on a lot of stuff I didn’t notice the first time around, so that was cool AND he spent… a good number of years living in Indonesia, so his view on the culture and stuff was really interesting to hear.
Yeah…
Few more things: I am writing again. Like, big time. Or… well, I’m actually trying to make it not so big time yet. I need to finish my senior year well, and that mean’s only 500 words on week days. Its open ended on weekends, but yeah. I need to start beating my school work to death and putting some serious hours into that.
Yarr.
I have an idea.
I had a crazy long blog post all written up, but I couldn’t find it when I wanted to post it. So I don’t know if it got thrown away by accident in some mass deletion of random files, or what. But its not there any more.
So here my thing.
I’m gonna write five things you/the world prpbably don’t know about me, ten things that I WANT the world to know about me, and one thing about you (that’s not a religion) that you never want to go away. So… here we go.
--
Five things you probably don’t know about me

1. When I was a kid I used to carve sticks and make swords. Then I would go out into the woods and walk on the same trail over and over again talking about my adventures. There was one spot with about twenty feet of earth just worn flat and bare cause I would just pace and talk to myself about things that where happening in my stories.
2. My favorite musician is James Root (#4) of Slipknot. He’s a rhythm guitarist, is 6’6”, and is the tallest member of the band. He is also the lead guitarist of Stone Sour.
3. I don’t like to be touched or cuddled anymore.
4. The idea of having a girlfriend, or being in a romantic relationship gets me really mad. I don’t want anything to do with it.
5. I absolutely LOVE Mr. Potato Head from Toy Story, but always thought people would think I was stupid for it. So I only recently started telling people.


--

Ten things I want the world to know about me

1. I’m a follower of Christ.
2. I’m a writer.
3. It makes me really sad when people think I hate the world and am always mad. I seriously don’t know what I do, its just a vibe that people seem to get off me. And I don’t think I’d change it, cause apparently it’s a big part of who I am. But yeah, I’m not mad all the time. Really.
4. I am hugely proud to be a part of the family I’m in.
5. I’ve had the same best friend for ten years.
6. I stick by my guns, my morals, my savior, my friends, and my family.
7. I’m radically pro-life, to the point where I don’t feel like I can accurately argue for the cause because I am so completely infuriated by abortion.
8. God has laid the Midwestern part of the country on my heart in a deep way, particularly the state of Iowa, and no, not just cause that where my favorite band is from. I really feel a pull and calling to, if nothing else, pray hard for the people who live there.
9. I want to make my living writing books, and even more then reaching people through my writing, I hope that God can use me to reach into people’s lives through being a fiction another who is real to the world and sticks by what he believes in. Basically, I want to be known more for who I am then what I write.
10. I’ll be damned if I have to clock in and clock out for the rest of my life.

--
One thing about me that I hope never changes
I hope I never loose my ability to look on people with compassion, and not pity.
--

So, there’s my year end/beginning dealy.
I don’t want to do that ‘tag you’re it’ BS, but I want to know. I’m interested to know what your list would be. So if you want to do that list, it’d be cool to hear what you put down, whoever reads my blog.
Alrighty… I’ve got some plot ideas to jot down.
NIGHT WORLD